Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes

Get this: Cronus liked to eat babies. Narcissus probably should have just learned to masturbate. Odin got construction discounts with bestiality. Isis had bad taste in jewelry. Ganesh was the very definition of an unplanned pregnancy. And Abraham was totally cool about stabbing his kid in the face. All our lives, we’ve been fed watered-down, PC versions of the classic myths. In reality, mythology is more screwed up than a schizophrenic shaman doing hits of unidentified…wait, it all makes sense now. In Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, Cory O’Brien, creator of Myths RETOLD!, sets the stories straight. These are rude, crude, totally sacred texts told the way they were meant to be told: loudly, and with lots of four-letter words. Skeptical? Here are a few more gems to consider: • Zeus once stuffed an unborn fetus inside his thigh to save its life after he exploded its mother by being too good in bed. • The entire Egyptian universe was saved because Sekhmet just got too hammered to keep murdering everyone. • The Hindu universe is run by a married couple who only stop murdering in order to throw sweet dance parties…on the corpses of their enemies. • The Norse goddess Freyja once consented to a four-dwarf gangbang in exchange for one shiny necklace. And there’s more dysfunctional goodness where that came from.

From the creator of Myths Retold comes a hilarious collection of Greek, Norse, Chinese and even Sumerian myths retold in their purest, bawdiest forms! All our lives, we’ve been fed watered-down, PC versions of the classic myths. In reality, mythology is more screwed up than a schizophrenic shaman doing hits of unidentified…wait, it all makes sense now. In Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, Cory O’Brien, creator of Myths RETOLD!, sets the stories straight. These are rude, crude, totally sacred texts told the way they were meant to be told: loudly, and with lots of four-letter words. Did you know? Cronus liked to eat babies. Narcissus probably should have just learned to masturbate. Odin got construction discounts with bestiality. Isis had bad taste in jewelry. Ganesh was the very definition of an unplanned pregnancy. And Abraham was totally cool about stabbing his kid in the face. Still skeptical? Here are a few more gems to consider: • Zeus once stuffed an unborn fetus inside his thigh to save its life after he exploded its mother by being too good in bed. • The entire Egyptian universe was saved because Sekhmet just got too hammered to keep murdering everyone. • The Hindu universe is run by a married couple who only stop murdering in order to throw sweet dance parties…on the corpses of their enemies. • The Norse goddess Freyja once consented to a four-dwarf gangbang in exchange for one shiny necklace. And there’s more dysfunctional goodness where that came from.

PREPARE TO BE BEAKED BY THE MAJESTIC EAGLE OF HISTORY Most of us are familiar with the greatest hits and legendary heroes of US history. In George Washington Is Cash Money, Cory O’Brien, author of Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, does away with the pomp and circumstance and calls America’s history what it is: one long, violent soap opera. In his signature clever, crude, and cuss-ridden style, O’Brien reminds us that: · Teddy Roosevelt stopped bullets with his manly chest · Harriet Tubman avoided danger by having prophetic seizures. · Joseph Smith invented Mormonism by staring into a hat full of rocks. · Billy the Kid was finally defeated by the smell of fresh bacon. And there’s plenty more Star Spangled stupidity where that came from.

It's an absorbing introduction to the lore of Albion, but readers will also enjoy teasing out similarities between these tales and more familiar ones." — Publishers Weekly Perilous quests, true love, and animals that talk: The traditional stories of Ireland, Scotland, Brittany, and Wales transport us to the fantastical world of Celtic folklore. • This Celtic mythology book features 16 stores that were translated and transcribed by folklorists in the late 19th and 20th centuries that focus on themes such as Tricksters, The Sea, Quests, and Romance and mythological creatures. • These timeless tales brim with wit and magic, and each one is brought to life with elegant silhouette art in this special illustrated edition • Celtic Tales is an extraordinary collection that conjures forgotten realms and rare magical creatures in vivid prose Discover the impactful and stunning illustrations by Kate Forrester in this special edition that is sure to impress any true fan of cultural and mythological literature. Discover delightfully entertaining tales such as Master and Man, The Soul Cages, The Red-Etin, and The Witch of Lok Island. Celtic Tales makes an impressive gift for any fan of greek mythology, roman mythology, Chinese mythology, and folklore and cultural studies from around the globe.

Challenges narrow perceptions of Blackness as both an identity and lived reality to understand the diversity of what it means to be Black in the US and around the world What exactly is Blackness and what does it mean to be Black? Is Blackness a matter of biology or consciousness? Who determines who is Black and who is not? Who’s Black, who’s not, and who cares? In the United States, a Black person has come to be defined as any person with any known Black ancestry. Statutorily referred to as “the rule of hypodescent,” this definition of Blackness is more popularly known as the “one-drop rule,” meaning that a person with any trace of Black ancestry, however small or (in)visible, cannot be considered White. A method of social order that began almost immediately after the arrival of enslaved Africans in America, by 1910 it was the law in almost all southern states. At a time when the one-drop rule functioned to protect and preserve White racial purity, Blackness was both a matter of biology and the law. One was either Black or White. Period. Has the social and political landscape changed one hundred years later? One Drop explores the extent to which historical definitions of race continue to shape contemporary racial identities and lived experiences of racial difference. Featuring the perspectives of 60 contributors representing 25 countries and combining candid narratives with striking portraiture, this book provides living testimony to the diversity of Blackness. Although contributors use varying terms to self-identify, they all see themselves as part of the larger racial, cultural, and social group generally referred to as Black. They have all had their identity called into question simply because they do not fit neatly into the stereotypical “Black box”—dark skin, “kinky” hair, broad nose, full lips, etc. Most have been asked “What are you?” or the more politically correct “Where are you from?” throughout their lives. It is through contributors’ lived experiences with and lived imaginings of Black identity that we can visualize multiple possibilities for Blackness.

A veteran journalist and former member of Parliament, Kuldip Nayar is India’s most well known and widely syndicated journalist. He was born in Sialkot in 1923 and educated at Lahore University before migrating to Delhi with his family at he time of Partition. He began his career in the Urdu newspaper Anjam and after a spell in the USA worked as information officer of Lal Bahadur Shastri and Govind Ballabh Pant. He eventually became Resident Editor of the Statesman and managing editor of the Indian news agency UNI. He corresponded for the Times for twenty-five years and later served as Indian high commissioner to the UK during the V.P. Singh government. His stand for press freedom during the Emergency, when he was detained; his commitment to better relations between India and Pakistan, and his role as a human rights activist have won him respect and affection in both countries. Author of more than a dozen books, his weekly columns are read across South Asia.

The author, a professor of classics and visiting scholar at the Harvard Divinity school presents modern interpretations of traditional Greek and Roman myths that render classic themes accessible to a new generation of readers. Here he retells some of the most popular myths and tales of errant gods, fantastic creatures, and human heroes, including powerful Zeus, his wife Hera, Apollo, beautiful Aphrodite, fierce Athena, the dauntless heroes Theseus and Hercules, the doomed lovers Orpheus and Eurydice, as well as the tales of the Argonauts, and the narrative of the Battle of Troy. These Greek and Roman myths are as relevant today as ever in their sharp observations about human nature; they still inspire awe, give us courage, and break our hearts. They have inspired plays, operas, and paintings, and live on today in movies and video games. -- From back cover.

Modern technology is pitted against ancient dinosaurs in this scientific thriller James Rollins calls “Jurassic Park set amid the paradox of time travel.” Paleontologist Richard Leyster is perfectly content in his position with the Smithsonian excavating dinosaur fossil sites and publishing his findings . . . until the mysterious Harry Griffin appears in his office with a cooler containing the head of a freshly killed Stegosaurus. The enigmatic stranger offers Leyster the opportunity to travel back in time to study living dinosaurs in their original habitats—but with strings attached. Soon, the paleontologist finds himself, along with a select team of colleagues—including his chief rival, the ambitious and often ruthless Dr. Gertrude Salley—making discoveries that would prove impossible working from fossils alone. But when Leyster and his team are stranded in the Cretaceous, they must learn to survive while still keeping alive the joy of scientific discovery. This shocking novel spans hundreds of millions of years and deals with the ultimate fate not only of the dinosaurs but also of all humankind. Nominated for the Locus Award, the Hugo Award, and the Nebula Award for Best Novel, Bones of the Earth cements author Michael Swanwick as an author who “proves that sci-fi has plenty of room for wonder and literary values” (San Francisco Chronicle).

Out of Control chronicles the dawn of a new era in which the machines and systems that drive our economy are so complex and autonomous as to be indistinguishable from living things.

“One of the most profound and illuminating studies of this century to have been published in recent decades.”—John Gray, New York Times Book Review Hailed as “a magisterial critique of top-down social planning” by the New York Times, this essential work analyzes disasters from Russia to Tanzania to uncover why states so often fail—sometimes catastrophically—in grand efforts to engineer their society or their environment, and uncovers the conditions common to all such planning disasters. “Beautifully written, this book calls into sharp relief the nature of the world we now inhabit.”—New Yorker “A tour de force.”— Charles Tilly, Columbia University

One day Sophie comes home from school to find two questions in her mail: "Who are you?" and "Where does the world come from?" Before she knows it she is enrolled in a correspondence course with a mysterious philosopher. Thus begins Jostein Gaarder's unique novel, which is not only a mystery, but also a complete and entertaining history of philosophy.

The boy of her dreams...is a girl's manga artist?! To the eyes of high school student Chiyo Sakura, classmate Umetarou Nozaki--brawny of build and brusque of tongue--is a dreamboat! When Chiyo finally works up the courage to tell Nozaki how she feels about him, she knows rejection is on the table...but getting recruited as a manga-ka's assistant?! Never in a million years! But for someone who makes a living drawing sweet girly romances, Nozaki-kun is a little slow on the uptake when it comes to matters of the heart in reality. And so Chiyo's daily life of manga making and heartache begins!

A no-holds-barred examination of 'ethical' consumerism.

The Bible is funny! Very funny, according to Douglas Adams. In this book, Adams demonstrates how readers can discover this often-neglected humor looking at the Bible as a whole and seeing biblical stories with all their rough edges--the unethical and ambiguous characters, the unsolved problems, and the surprising endings. Adams argues that by missing the humor and irony of the Bible, readers often miss intended meanings as well.

A nuanced, feminist, and deeply personal take on beauty culture and YouTube consumerism, in the tradition of Maggie Nelson’s Bluets As Daphné B. obsessively watches YouTube makeup tutorials and haunts Sephora’s website, she’s increasingly troubled by the ways in which this obsession contradicts her anti-capitalist and intersectional feminist politics. In this poetic treatise, she rejects the false binaries of traditional beauty standards and delves into the celebrities and influencers, from Kylie to Grimes, and the poets and philosophers, from Anne Boyer to Audre Lorde, who have shaped the reflection she sees in the mirror. At once confessional and essayistic, Made-Up is a meditation on the makeup that colours, that obscures, that highlights who we are and who we wish we could be. The original French-language edition was a cult hit in Quebec. Translated by Alex Manley—like Daphné, a Montreal poet and essayist—the book’s English-language text crackles with life, retaining the flair and verve of the original, and ensuring that a book on beauty is no less beautiful than its subject matter. “The most radical book of 2020 talks about makeup. Radical in the intransigence with which Daphne B hunts down the parts of her imagination that capitalism has phagocytized. Radical also in its rejection of false binaries (the authentic and the fake, the futile and the essential) through the lens of which such a subject is generally considered. With the help of a heady combination of pop cultural criticism and autobiography, a poet scrutinizes her contradictions. They are also ours.” —Dominic Tardif, Le Devoir “[Made-Up] is a delight. I read it in one go. And when, out of necessity, I had to put it down, it was with regret and with the feeling that I was giving up what could save me from a catastrophe.” —Laurence Fournier, Lettres Québécoises, five stars "Made-Up is a radiant, shimmering blend of memoir and cultural criticism that uses beauty culture as an entry point to interrogating the ugly contradictions of late capitalism. In short, urgent chapters laced with humor and wide-ranging references, Daphné B. plumbs the depths of a rich topic that’s typically dismissed as shallow. I imagine her writing it in eye pencil, using makeup to tell the story of her life, as so many women do." —Amy Berkowitz, author of Tender Points "A companion through the thicket of late stage capitalism, a lucid and poetic mirror for anyone whose image exists on a screen." —Rachel Kauder Nalebuff "Made-Up is anything but—committed to the grit of our current realities, Daphné B directs her piercing eye on capitalism in an intimate portrayal of what it means to love, and how to paint ourselves in the process. Alex Manley has gifted English audiences with a nuanced translation of a critical feminist text, exploring love and make-up as a transformative social tool." —Sruti Islam "The book will leave you both laughing in recognition and wincing at the reality of the beauty world’s impact on our collective psyche." —Chatelaine "[Made-Up] examines the intersection of beauty culture and consumer culture... Aided by the work of writers like Anne Carson, Anne Boyer, Amanda Hess, and Arabelle Sicardi... B. makes sharp observations about the ideologies behind both beauty [...] and consumerism." —Bitch Media "Made‑Up: A True Story of Beauty Culture under Late Capitalism is well worth reading." —Literary Review of Canada "[Made-Up], newly translated by writer/poet Alex Manley from its original French, puts an intersectional, feminist lens on the author’s personal fascination with the makeup industry; it also reckons with the cultural dominance of this fascination as she aims to square anti-capitalist principles with beauty-product obsession." —BitchReads: 11 Books Feminists Should Read in September

The bestselling comic trilogy that inspired the blockbuster film The Mask is collected in this omnibus edition of gruesome hilarity! A weird mask of unknown origin and power is discovered and imbues its wearer with limitless cartoon character invulnerability that takes the nerdy Stanley Ipkiss, the police, the mafia, and the monstrous mob muscleman Walter on a colliding violent path of homicidal mayhem, lunacy, and destruction! Collects The Mask, The Mask Returns, and The Mask Strikes Back!

The second collection from Cyanide & Happiness creators Kris Wilson, Matt Melvin, Rob DenBleyker, and Dave McElfatrick features more never-before-seen comics, more cartoons behaving badly and more of the insulting humor that fans have been waiting for! Ranking among the web’s smartest and crudest cartoons, like Achewood, Penny Arcade, and The Perry Bible Fellowship, Explosm.net’s massively popular webcomic would make the cast of South Park blush. Readers, get ready for a laugh-out-loud voyage to the realm of the absurd.

Young, arrogant tycoon Earl Grey seduces the naïve coed Anna Steal with his overpowering good looks and staggering amounts of money, but will she be able to get past his fifty shames, including shopping at Walmart on Saturdays, bondage with handcuffs, and his love of BDSM (Bards, Dragons, Sorcery, and Magick)? Or will his dark secrets and constant smirking drive her over the edge?