Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew

"Birthdays may be difficult for me." "I want you to take the initiative in opening conversations about my birth family." "When I act out my fears in obnoxious ways, please hang in there with me." "I am afraid you will abandon me." The voices of adopted children are poignant, questioning. And they tell a familiar story of loss, fear, and hope. This extraordinary book, written by a woman who was adopted herself, gives voice to children's unspoken concerns, and shows adoptive parents how to free their kids from feelings of fear, abandonment, and shame. With warmth and candor, Sherrie Eldridge reveals the twenty complex emotional issues you must understand to nurture the child you love--that he must grieve his loss now if he is to receive love fully in the future--that she needs honest information about her birth family no matter how painful the details may be--and that although he may choose to search for his birth family, he will always rely on you to be his parents. Filled with powerful insights from children, parents, and experts in the field, plus practical strategies and case histories that will ring true for every adoptive family, Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew is an invaluable guide to the complex emotions that take up residence within the heart of the adopted child--and within the adoptive home.

Do I have what it takes to be a successful adoptive parent? Does my child consider me a successful parent? Will I ever hear my rebellious teen say, “I love you”? What tools do I need to succeed? In her groundbreaking first book, Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew, Sherrie Eldridge gave voice to the very real concerns of adopted children, whose unique perspectives offered unprecedented insight. In this all-new companion volume, Eldridge goes beyond those insights and shifts her focus to parents, offering them much-needed encouragement and hope. Speaking from her own experience as an adoptee and an expert in the field of adoption, Eldridge shares proven strategies and the moving narratives of nearly one hundred adoptive families, helping parents gain a deeper understanding of what is normal, both for their children and themselves. By first strengthening yourself as a parent, you’ll be able to truly listen to your child, and to connect with him on every level, by opening the channels of communication and keeping them open forever. Then you and your child can grow closer through the practical exercises at the end of every chapter. Discover how to • be confident that your role in your child’s life is vital and irreplaceable • pass on the legacy of healthy self-care by assessing and regulating your stress • communicate unconditional love to your child • talk candidly with your child about her adoption and her birth family • teach your family how to respond positively to insensitive remarks about adoption • connect with other adoptive families–and build a support network • plus learn to become a “warrior” parent…settle the “real parent” question…cope with emotional triggers–what to do when you “lose it” . . . celebrate the miracle of your family…and much more

More than 70 adoptees share their stories and questions concerning adoption. A great resource for adult adoptees.

Discusses how young children make sense of the fact that they are adopted with 20 accounts of parents talking to their children about adoption.

Under His Wings is a life-changing resource for: - adoptees - orphans - foster children - children waiting to be adopted Effective for children, ages nine and upward. Also, orphan ministry training materials for leaders. Healing tool for parents and children to complete together.

Twenty Things Adoptive Kids Wish devotional gives adoptive families encouragement as they seek God to work through the emotions unique to their family. Daily 365 inspiring devotions are filled with scripture and authentic insight into the heart of adopted children. Powerful prayer prompts help you navigate through difficult topics such as rejection, the missing faces in their lives, and much more. As you pray together through these tough topics, you will become the greatest prayer warrior for your adopted child and God will knit your hearts together in His love.

The world is full of hurt children, and bringing one into your home can quickly derail the easy family life you once knew. Get effective suggestions, wisdom, and advice to parent the hurt child in your life. The best hope for tragedy prevention is knowledge! Updated and revised.

An uplifting children's picture book about an adopted child who realises that her fingerprints alone give her a special connection to her birth parents.

The White Fragility for transracial adoption--practical tools for nurturing identity, unlearning white saviorism, and fixing the mistakes you don't even know you're making. If you're the white parent of a transracially or internationally adopted child, you may have been told that if you try your best and work your hardest, good intentions and a whole lot of love will be enough to give your child the security, attachment, and nurturing family life they need to thrive. The only problem? It's not true. What White Parents Need to Know About Transracial Adoption breaks down the dynamics that frequently fly under the radar of the whitewashed, happily-ever-after adoption stories we hear so often. Written by Melissa Guida-Richards--a transracial, transnational, and late-discovery adoptee--this book unpacks the mistakes you don't even know you're making and gives you the real-life tools to be the best parent you can be, to the child you love more than anything. From original research, personal stories, and interviews with parents and adoptees, you'll learn: • What parents wish they'd known before they adopted--and what kids wish their adoptive parents had done differently • What white privilege, white saviorism, and toxic positivity are...and how they show up, even when you don't mean it • How your child might feel and experience the world differently than you • All about microaggressions, labeling, and implicit bias • How to help your child connect with their cultural heritage through language, food, music, and clothing • The 5 stages of grief for adoptive parents • How to start tough conversations, work with defensiveness, and process guilt

One adoption social worker called In On It "the adoption book for everyone else": the grandparents and friends, neighbors and colleagues, aunts and uncles, teachers and caregivers of adoptive families. In On It contains helpful advice and instructive anecdotes from adoptive parents, adult adoptees, adoption professionals, and the friends and relatives of already established adoptive families. The author, an adoptive parent herself, has written an informative, friendly and very useful adoption guide that informs and enlightens readers even as it offers them a warm welcome into adoption.

In this completely revised and updated edition of Raising Adopted Children, Lois Melina, editor of Adopted Child newsletter and the mother of two children by adoption, draws on the latest research in psychology, sociology, and medicine to guide parents through all stages of their child's development. Melina addresses the pressing adoption issues of today, such as open adoption, international adoption, and transracial adoption, and answers parents' most frequently asked questions, such as: How will my child "bond" or form attachments to me? When and how should I tell my child that he was adopted? What should schools be told about my child? Will adoption make adolescent upheavals more complicated? Up-to-date, sensitive, and clear, Raising Adopted Children is the definitive resource for all adoptive parents and concerned professionals.

Advance readers of Adopting: Sound Choices, Strong Families offer these comments (and more, see page 1) about this new book by the author of Taking Charge of Infertility, Adopting after Infertility, Launching a Baby's Adoption and Adoption Is a Family Affair! Adopting: Sound Choices, Strong Families is a "must-read" for anyone considering adoption. With compassion and candor, it helps sort out the emotional, relational and practical aspects of the journey to family-building through adoption. Pat's warm and direct style gives readers the courage to face the losses they have experienced so they can continue exploring adoption as a means to parenthood. Specifically, readers will be empowered to: Regain a sense of control over their lives, Decide whether they are honestly open to the idea of adoption, Understand the central issues of attachment and adoptive family life, Feel confident in their decision to pursue-or not-adoption as a viable option, Make informed decisions about the details of the adoption process, Embrace their decision to adopt with practical support and information, Navigate the first few months after placement with realistic expectations and practical information. Book jacket.

This comprehensive guide provides specific parenting strategies for the growing number of people who adopt children over two years old. Parents learn to identify their child's needs, meet such challenges as aggressive behavior and attention deficit disorder, and create a sense of belonging.

Discover What Adoption and Foster Care Really Look Like If you are considering adoption or foster care or are already somewhere in this difficult and complicated process, you need trusted information from people who have been where you are. Mike and Kristin Berry have adopted eight children and cared for another 23 kids in their nine-year stint as foster parents. They aren’t just experts. They have experienced every emotional high and low and encountered virtually every situation imaginable as parents. Now, they want to share what they’ve learned with you. Get the answers you need to the following questions, and many more: Should I foster parent or adopt? How do I know? What is the first step in becoming an adoptive or foster parent? What are the benefits of an open versus closed adoption? How and when do I tell my child that he or she is adopted? How do I help my child embrace his or her cultural and racial identity? Honestly Adoption will provide you with practical, down-to-earth advice to make good decisions in your own adoption and foster parenting journey and give you the help and hope you need.

Like Passages, this groundbreaking book uses the poignant, powerful voices of adoptees and adoptive parents to explore the experience of adoption and its lifelong effects. A major work, filled with astute analysis and moving truths.

This book explains the role of separation trauma in the life of adoptees and birth mothers and how that trauma affects the neurological system. It demonstrates how the inner, fearful child may be running the lives of adoptees. It shows how the meaning we give to events determines our beliefs and how those beliefs control our feelings, attitudes and behavior. It gives guidelines for discovering the authentic self and for becoming accountable for our impact on others.

"Some families are created in different ways but are still, in every way, a family." Writer and star of My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Nia Vardalos firmly believed she was supposed to be a mom, but Mother Nature and modern medicine had put her in a headlock. So she made a choice that shocked friends, family, and even herself: with only fourteen hours' notice, she adopted a preschooler. Instant Mom is Vardalos's poignant and hilarious true chronicle of trying to become a mother while fielding nosy "frenemies" and Hollywood reporters asking, "Any baby news?" With genuine and frank honesty, she describes how she and husband Ian Gomez eventually found their daughter . . . and what happened next. Vardalos explores innovative ways to conquer the challenges all new moms face, from sleep to personal grooming, and learns that whether via biology, relationship, or adoption—motherhood comes in many forms. The book includes laugh-out-loud behind the scenes Hollywood anecdotes, plus an Appendix on how to adopt worldwide. Vardalos will donate proceeds from the book sales to charities. Vardalos candidly shares her instant motherhood story that is relatable for all new moms (and dads!)

As would-be parents cycle through the adoption process, they balance anxiety and fear with the life-altering decision of adoption. The emotional toll of this dance can be completely overwhelming and can confuse parents while navigating the decisions of how to expand their families. Drawing on extensive research and the author's own experience of being adopted, What to Expect When You're Adopting... does not gloss over the realities of the adoption process, but rather leads parents through the many stages and emotional aspects involved and offer practical and sensitive advice allowing you to: - Make crucial decisions with confidence - Build a strong foundation for your family - Separate the myths about adopted children from the realities - Discover the key to healthy attachment with your child Dr Ian Palmer will also deal with the issues of single-parent adoption, infertility and, unusually, the option of remaining childless.

Although she loves her baby very much, a young mother bird gives him up for adoption because she is unable to give him the home which he needs.