Thief Of Time A Novel Of Discworld

'This is the best Pratchett I've read' Sunday Telegraph The Discworld is very much like our own - if our own were to consist of a flat planet balanced on the back of four elephants which stand on the back of a giant turtle, that is . . . Time is a resource. Everyone knows it has to be managed. You mess with it at your peril. You can let it move fast or slowly but what you mustn't do is allow it to stop. The Monks of History have the glamorous job of time management in the Discworld. They store it and pump it from the places where it's wasted (like the underwater - how much time does a codfish need?) to places like cities, where there's never enough time. But with the construction of the world's first truly accurate clock starts a race against, well, time begins for History monk for Lu Tze and his suspiciously talented apprentice Lobsang Ludd. Because a truly accurate clock will stop time. And when time stands still, everything in human existence stops with it. Then, there really is no future. _________________ The Discworld novels can be read in any order but Thief of Time is the fifth book in the Death series.

Time isn't a toy to be played with. It's bigger than all of us. It exists outside the artificial and arbitrary divisions into which humankind has presumptuously shoehorned it. It needs to elastic. To understand truly, you have to see time as the most important resource we have. You mess with it at your peril.

Everybody wants more time, which is why on Discworld only the experts can manage it -- the venerable Monks of History who store it and pump it from where it's wasted, like underwater (how much time does a codfish really need?), to places like cities, where busy denizens lament, "Oh where does the time go?" While everyone always talks about slowing down, one young horologist is about to do the unthinkable. He's going to stop. Well, stop time that is, by building the world's first truly accurate clock. Which means esteemed History Monk Lu-Tze and his apprentice Lobsang Ludd have to put on some speed to stop the timepiece before it starts. For if the Perfect Clock starts ticking, Time -- as we know it -- will end. And then the trouble will really begin...

It's the night before Hogswatch. And it's too quiet. Superstition makes things work in the Discworld, and undermining it can have consequences. It's just not right to find Death creeping down chimneys and trying to say 'Ho Ho Ho...' It's the last night of the year, the time is turning, and if Susan, gothic governess and Death's granddaughter (sort of), doesn't sort everything out by morning, there won't be a morning. Ever again... Adapted by Terry Pratchett's long-time collaborator Stephen Briggs, this play text version of Pratchett's bestselling Discworld novel Hogfather wittily and faithfully reimagines the story for the stage.

'Classic English humour, with all the slapstick, twists and dry observations you could hope for' The Times The Discworld is very much like our own - if our own were to consist of a flat planet balanced on the back of four elephants which stand on the back of a giant turtle, that is . . . 'This is a story about sex and drugs and Music With Rocks In. Well... ...one out of three ain’t bad.' Being sixteen is always difficult, even more so when there’s a Death in the family. After all, it's hard to grow up normally when Grandfather rides a white horse and wields a scythe. Especially if he decides to take a well-earned moment to uncover the meaning of life and discover himself in the process, so that you have to take over the family business, and everyone mistakes you for the Tooth Fairy. And especially when you have to face the new and addictive music that has entered Discworld. It's lawless. It changes people. It's got a beat and you can dance to it. It's called Music With Rocks In. And it won't fade away. __________________ The Discworld novels can be read in any order but Soul Music is the third book in the Death series.

A short but perfectly formed complete Discworld novel, fully illustrated in lavish colour throughout, THE LAST HERO is an essential part of any Discworld collection. It stars the legendary Cohen the Barbarian, a legend in his own lifetime. Cohen can remember when a hero didn't have to worry about fences and lawyers and civilisation, and when people didn't tell you off for killing dragons. But he can't always remember, these days, where he put his teeth... So now, with his ancient sword and his new walking stick and his old friends - and they're very old friends - Cohen the Barbarian is going on one final quest. He's going to climb the highest mountain in the Discworld and meet his gods. The last hero in the world is going to return what the first hero stole. With a vengeance. That'll mean the end of the world, if no one stops him in time.

A stunning portfolio of Discworld illustrations from the brush of Paul Kidby, Sir Terry Pratchett's artist of choice. Paul Kidby, Sir Terry Pratchett's artist of choice, provided the illustrations for The Last Hero, designed the covers for the Discworld novels since 2002, and is the author of the bestselling The Art Of Discworld. Now, Paul Kidby has collected the very best of his Discworld illustrations in this definitive volume, including 40 pieces never before seen, 30 pieces that have only appeared in foreign editions, limited editions and BCA editions, and 17 book cover illustrations since 2004 that have never been seen without cover text. If Terry Pratchett's pen gave his characters life, Paul Kidby's brush allowed them to live it, and nowhere is that better illustrated than in this magnificent book. For fans old and new, this beautiful collectors item is the perfect gift for Christmas. 'The closest anyone's got to how I see the characters' - Sir Terry Pratchett

'There is a curse. They say: may you live in interesting times . . .' This is the worst thing you can wish on a citizen of Discworld. Especially for the magically challenged Rincewind, who has already had far too much excitement in his life. Unfortunately, the unlucky wizard always seems to end up in the middle of, well, absolutely everything. So when a request for a 'Great Wizzard' arrives from the faraway Counterweight Continent, it's obviously Rincewind who's sent. For one thing, he's the only one who spells wizard that way. Once again Rincewind is thrown headfirst into a dangerous adventure. For the oldest empire on the Disc is in turmoil and Chaos is building. And, for some reason, someone believes Rincewind will have a vital role in the coming war . . . 'Pratchett is a comic genius' Daily Express 'Funny, delightfully inventive, and refuses to lie down in its genre' Observer Interesting Times is the fifth book in the Wizards series, but you can read the Discworld novels in any order.

Seventh book of the original and best CITY WATCH series, now reinterpreted in BBC's The Watch 'Imaginative, witty and consistent' SFX The Discworld is very much like our own - if our own were to consist of a flat planet balanced on the back of four elephants which stand on the back of a giant turtle, that is . . . 'Beating people up in little rooms . . . he knew where that led. And if you did it for a good reason, you'd do it for a bad one. You couldn't say 'we;re the good guys' and do bad-guy things.' Koom Valley, the ancient battle where the trolls ambushed the dwarfs, or the dwarfs ambushed the trolls, was a long time ago. But if he doesn't solve the murder of just one dwarf, Commander Sam Vimes of Ankh-Morpork City Watch is going to see it fought again, right outside his office. With his beloved Watch crumbling around him and war-drums sounding, he must unravel every clue, outwit every assassin and brave any darkness to find the solution. And darkness is following him. Oh . . . and at six o'clock every day, without fail, with no excuses, he must go home to read 'Where's My Cow?', with all the right farmyard noises, to his little boy. There are some things you have to do.

A collection of wonderful Christmas stories from the fantastically funny Terry Pratchett. With incredible illustrations from Mark Beech, it's the perfect stocking filler! Have you ever wanted Christmas to be different? Turkey and carols, presents and crackers - they all start to feel a bit . . . samey. How about a huge exploding mince pie, a pet abominable snowman, or a very helpful partridge in a pear tree? What if Father Christmas went to work at a zoo, or caused chaos in a toy store or, was even, arrested for burglary!? Dive into the fantastically funny world of Terry Pratchett, for a festive treat like no other. These ten stories will have you laughing, gasping and crying (with laughter) - you'll never see Christmas in the same way again. 'Funny, action-packed . . . a rip-roaring read' The Sun

'It's vital to remember who you really are . . . it isn't a good idea to rely on other people or things to do it for you, you see. They always get it wrong.' An eighth son of an eighth son is born, a wizard squared, a source of magic. A sourcerer. Unseen University, the Discworld's most magical establishment, has finally got its wish: the emergence of a wizard more powerful than ever before. You'd think they would have been a little more careful what they wished for . . . As the sourcerer takes over the University and sets his sights on the rest of the world, only one wizard manages to escape his influence. Unfortunately for everyone, it's Rincewind. Once again the cowardly wizard must embark on a quest: to deliver a precious artefact - the very embodiment of magic itself - halfway across the Disc to safety. If he doesn't make it, the death of all wizardry is at hand. And the end of the world, depending on who you listen to. 'One of our greatest fantasists, and beyond a doubt the funniest' George R.R. Martin 'May well be considered his masterpiece . . . Humour such as his is an endangered species' The Times Sourcery is the third book in the Wizards series, but you can read the Discworld novels in any order.

Debuting at #4, this "New York Times" bestseller by the popular author of "Going Postal" describes a game of Trolls and Dwarfs, where the player must take both sides to win.

'They say that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it is not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance.' Everybody knows there's no such thing as a female wizard. So when the wizard Drum Billet accidentally passes on his staff of power to an eighth daughter of an eighth son, a girl called Eskarina (Esk, for short), the misogynistic world of wizardry wants nothing to do with her. Thankfully Granny Weatherwax, the Discworld's most famous witch, has plenty of experience ignoring the status quo. With Granny's help, Esk sneaks her way into the magical Unseen University and befriends apprentice wizard Simon. But power is unpredictable, and these bright young students soon find themselves in a whole new dimension of trouble. Let the battle of the sexes begin . . . 'If you've never read a Discworld novel, what's the matter with you?' Guardian 'Pratchett uses his other world to hold up a distorting mirror to our own' The Times Equal Rites is the first book in the Witches series, but you can read the Discworld novels in any order.

'Cracking dialogue, compelling illogic and unchained whimsy' Sunday Times The Discworld is very much like our own - if our own were to consist of a flat planet balanced on the back of four elephants which stand on the back of a giant turtle, that is . . . Death comes to us all. When he came to Mort, he offered him a job. Death is the Grim Reaper of the Discworld, a black-robed skeleton carrying a scythe who must collect a minimum number of souls in order to keep the momentum of dying, well . . . alive. He is also fond of cats and endlessly baffled by humanity. Soon Death is yearning to experience what humanity really has to offer . . . but to do that, he'll need to hire some help. It's an offer Mort can't refuse. As Death's apprentice he'll have free board, use of the company horse - and being dead isn't compulsory. It's a dream job - until Mort falls in love with Death's daughter, Ysabell, and discovers that your boss can be a killer on your love life . . . ________________ The Discworld novels can be read in any order but Mort is the first book in the Death series.

It's no more than a breath away... Everyone needs a place to relax after a long day, after all. So here is the place where the Grim Reaper can kick back and take the load off his scythe. Here's the golf course that's not so much crazy as insane, and the useless maze, and the dark gardens - all brought (incongruously) to life. And here, for the first time ever, you will find out the reason why Death can't understand rockeries, and what hapens to garden gnomes. As Death rides Binky into the sunset (of other people's lives), you can at last see what he gets up to when he's not at work.

THE BOOK BEHIND THE AMAZON PRIME/BBC SERIES STARRING DAVID TENNANT, MICHAEL SHEEN, JON HAMM AND BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH 'Ridiculously inventive and gloriously funny' Guardian What if, for once, the predictions are right, and the Apocalypse really is due to arrive next Saturday, just after tea? It's a predicament that Aziraphale, a somewhat fussy angel, and Crowley, a fast-living demon, now find themselves in. They've been living amongst Earth's mortals since The Beginning and, truth be told, have grown rather fond of the lifestyle and, in all honesty, are not actually looking forward to the coming Apocalypse. And then there's the small matter that someone appears to have misplaced the Antichrist . . . _____________________ What readers are saying about Good Omens: ***** 'A superb recipe for disaster. I didn't stop grinning from beginning to end.' ***** 'Both Gaiman and Pratchett are great authors and they complement each other brilliantly' ***** 'Superbly enjoyable read. Seamlessly co-written.'

Lu-Tze is a senior History Monk, also known as Sweeper. Although thought to be 800 years old, there are some who claim he is older yet . . . 5,200 years older, in fact, because for the History Monks, time is a resource to manipulate, and they do . . . Lu-Tze, a bald, yellow-toothed little man with a wispy beard, has a faintly amiable grin, as if constantly waiting for something amusing to happen, and a handy epithet for every occasion. In his life, Lu-Tze has done everything, and his past deeds are legend amongst the History Monks. He is a follower of The Way of Mrs Marietta Cosmopilite. He also grows Bonsai mountains. LU-TZE'S YEARBOOK OF ENLIGHTMENT (including The Way of Mrs Cosmopilite) is the ideal companion for those seeking truth and harmony and, well, the meaning to life - though he doesn't guarantee it will be the right meaning . . .

Twoflower was a tourist, the first ever seen on the Discworld. Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant idiot.Somewhere on the frontier between thought and reality exists the Discworld, a parallel time and place which might sound and smell very much like our own, but which looks completely different. It plays by different rules. Certainly it refuses to succumb to the quaint notion that universes are ruled by pure logic and the harmony of numbers.But just because the Disc is different doesn't mean that some things don't stay the same. Its very existence is about to be threatened by a strange new blight: the arrival of the first tourist, upon whose survival rests the peace and prosperity of the land. But if the person charged with maintaining that survival in the face of robbers, mercenaries and, well, Death is a spectacularly inept wizard, a little logic might turn out to be a very good idea...