How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You

How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You
  • Author : The Oatmeal,Matthew Inman
  • Publisher : Andrews McMeel Publishing
  • Pages : 80
  • Relase : 2012-10-09
  • ISBN : 9781449410490

How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You Book Review:

Jesus Rollerblading Christ--another helping of TheOatmeal! Mrow, MOAR kitty comics. Mr. Oats delivers a sidesplitting serving of cat humor in his new book, How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You. If your cat is kneading you, that's not a sign of affection. Your cat is actually checking your internal organs for weakness. If your cat brings you a dead animal, this isn't a gift. It's a warning. How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You is a hilarious, brilliant offering of comics, facts, and instructional guides about crazy cat behaviors from the creative wonderland at TheOatmeal.com. How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You presents fan favorites, such as "Cat vs. Internet," "How to Pet a Kitty," and "The Bobcats," plus 17 brand-new, never-before-seen cat-themed comic strips. This Oatmeal collection is a must-have for cat-lovers from Mr. Oats!

How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You

How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You
  • Author : The Oatmeal,Matthew Inman,TheOatmeal.com (Firm)
  • Publisher : Andrews McMeel Publishing
  • Pages : 136
  • Relase : 2012-10-09
  • ISBN : 9781449410247

How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You Book Review:

Mr Oats delivers a side-splitting serving of cat comics in his new book, 'How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You'. If your cat is kneading you, that's not a sign of affection. Your cat is actually checking your internal organs for weakness. If your cat brings you a dead animal, this isn't a gift. It's a warning. 'How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You' is a hilarious, brilliant offering of cat comics, facts, and instructional guides from the creative wonderland at TheOatmeal.com.

Why My Cat Is More Impressive Than Your Baby

Why My Cat Is More Impressive Than Your Baby
  • Author : Matthew Inman,The Oatmeal
  • Publisher : Andrews McMeel Publishing
  • Pages : 160
  • Relase : 2019-06-04
  • ISBN : 9781524854331

Why My Cat Is More Impressive Than Your Baby Book Review:

Why My Cat Is More Impressive Than Your Baby is chockfull of comics about cats, babies, dogs, lasers, selfies, and pigeons! This book contains a vast wealth of never-before-seen comics, including informative guides, such as: How to comfortably sleep next to your cat 10 ways to befriend a misanthropic cat How to hold a baby when you are not used to holding babies A dog’s guide to walking a human being How to cuddle like you mean it Includes a pull-out poster of: How to tell if your cat thinks you’re not that big of a deal.

5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides)

5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides)
  • Author : The Oatmeal,Matthew Inman
  • Publisher : Andrews McMeel Publishing
  • Pages : 160
  • Relase : 2010-10-01
  • ISBN : 1449406750

5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides) Book Review:

In Matthew Inman's New York Times best selling 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides), samurai sword-wielding kittens and hamsters that love .50-caliber machine guns commingle with a cracked out Tyrannosaur that is extremely hard to potty train. Bacon is better than true love and you may awake in the middle of the night to find your nephew nibbling on your toes. Inman creates these quirky scenes for theoatmeal.com, which launched in July 2009 and already has more than 82 million page views. In fact, every 15 to 30 seconds, someone Googles one of theoatmeal.com's creations. Now, 60 of Inman's comic illustrations and life-bending guides are presented in full-color inside 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides). Consider such handy advice as: 4 Reasons to Carry a Shovel at All Times, 6 Types of Crappy Hugs, 8 Ways to Tell if Your Loved One Plans to Eat You, 17 Things Worth Knowing About Your Cat, and 20 Things Worth Knowing About Beer.

My Dog: The Paradox

My Dog: The Paradox
  • Author : The Oatmeal,Matthew Inman
  • Publisher : Andrews McMeel Publishing
  • Pages : 32
  • Relase : 2013-05-07
  • ISBN : 9781449437718

My Dog: The Paradox Book Review:

This eponymous comic became an instant hit when it went live on The Oatmeal.com and was liked on Facebook by 700,000 fans. Now fans will have a keepsake book of this comic to give and to keep. In My Dog: The Paradox, Inman discusses the canine penchant for rolling in horse droppings, chasing large animals four times their size, and acting recklessly enthusiastic through the entirety of their impulsive, lovable lives. Hilarious and heartfelt, My Dog: The Paradox eloquently illustrates the complicated relationship between man and dog. We will never know why dogs fear hair dryers, or being baited into staring contests with cats, but as Inman explains, perhaps we love dogs so much “because their lives aren’t lengthy, logical, or deliberate, but an explosive paradox composed of fur, teeth, and enthusiasm.”

I Could Pee on This

I Could Pee on This
  • Author : Francesco Marciuliano
  • Publisher : Chronicle Books
  • Pages : 112
  • Relase : 2012-08-03
  • ISBN : 9781452121864

I Could Pee on This Book Review:

Animal lovers will laugh out loud at the quirkiness of their feline friends with these insightful and curious poems from the singular minds of funny cats. In this hilarious, bestselling book of tongue-in-cheek poetry. The author of the internationally syndicated comic strip Sally Forth helps cats unlock their creative potential and explain their odd behavior to ignorant humans. With titles like "Who Is That on Your Lap?," "This Is My Chair," "Kneel Before Me," "Nudge," and "Some of My Best Friends Are Dogs," the poems collected in I Could Pee on This perfectly capture the inner workings of the cat psyche. With photos of the cat "authors" throughout, this whimsical animal book reveals kitties at their wackiest, and most exasperating (but always lovable). Ideal for that "crazy cat lady" or "cat mom/dad" in your life this collection of poems makes for the perfect cat-themed gift for anyone who's obsessed with our feline friends.

How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety

How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety
  • Author : Zachary Auburn
  • Publisher : Crown
  • Pages : 144
  • Relase : 2016-10-04
  • ISBN : 9780451494931

How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety Book Review:

The cats of America are under siege! Long gone are the good old days when a cat’s biggest worries were mean dogs or a bath. Modern cats must confront satanists, online predators, the possibility of needing to survive in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, and countless other threats to their nine lives. For over four decades, the American Association of Patriots have stood at the vanguard of our country's defense by helping to prepare our nation's cat owners for the difficult conversations they dread having with their pets. Written in a simple Q&A format, How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety answers crucial questions such as, “What is the right age to talk to my cat about the proper use of firearms?” and “What are the benefits of my cat living a lifestyle of abstinence?” and especially “Why does my cat need to use the internet? Can’t he just play with yarn like cats used to do?” Our country—and our cats—stand at a precipice. It will take courage, and it will take hard work, but armed with the knowledge within these pages, we can make our cats—and America—great again!

Guys Can Be Cat Ladies Too

Guys Can Be Cat Ladies Too
  • Author : Michael Showalter
  • Publisher : Abrams
  • Pages : 176
  • Relase : 2013-09-03
  • ISBN : 9781613125458

Guys Can Be Cat Ladies Too Book Review:

Michael Showalter’s Guys Can Be Cat Ladies Too is the hilarious all-access guide to help a man comprehend, appreciate, and bond with the felines in his life. They say dogs are a man’s best friend. True! But what if that man’s girlfriend/boyfriend, wife/husband, or mother-in-law has a cat? Is that the end for him? Is he resigned to an eternity of estrangement from this furry creature with which he shares his life partner, his favorite chair, and his sock drawer? Showalter offers hope for men everywhere in their quest to understand and love cats. In this intimate portrait of one man’s love for cats, you will learn the answers to burning questions such as: “Why are they all aloof and weird and stuff?”; “They hate me, right?”; and “Is it true that they have nine lives?” Armed with these and countless other valuable lessons, by the book’s end any guy can be on the fast track to becoming a cat’s best friend. Praise for Guys Can Be Cat Ladies Too: “Deep stuff is decorated by fabulously absurd humor.” —Catster.com “So what have your cats taught you about loving yourself?” Michael Showalter: “Not a lot, I’ll be honest.” —Esquire.com “Fabulously illustrated.” —Entertainment Weekly

The Cat Personality Test

The Cat Personality Test
  • Author : Lauren Finka
  • Publisher : Random House
  • Pages : 288
  • Relase : 2019-09-12
  • ISBN : 9781473572249

The Cat Personality Test Book Review:

Who is your cat really? And what can you do to make them happy? Through this book’s series of personality quizzes, feline behaviour expert Dr Lauren Finka can help you to assess various elements of your cat’s character and understand them on a whole new level. Discover how inquisitive your cat is, by observing their reaction to new environments; find out if your cat is an extreme hunter, who will need plenty of stimulation to exercise their keen stalking instincts; or learn to what extent you have a cat’s cat, who enjoys having a little furry playmate around, or whether they'd be happier in a single-cat household. You could start to understand whether your cat is really enjoying all the attention you lavish upon it, and decipher just how happy they are. With tips and tricks for any personality type, Dr Lauren Finka will help you to meet your cat’s specific wants and needs. Whoever your cat is, you’ll learn what makes them tick, and be a step closer to the domestic feline harmony you’ve always dreamt of.

Tiny Hats on Cats

Tiny Hats on Cats
  • Author : Adam Ellis
  • Publisher : Grand Central Publishing
  • Pages : 160
  • Relase : 2015-10-20
  • ISBN : 9781455558124

Tiny Hats on Cats Book Review:

A fun and creative book for cat lovers, crafters, and pop-culture devotees alike. Following the success of recent bestsellers like Grumpy Cat and How to Tell if Your Cat is Plotting to Kill You, TINY HATS ON CATS combines adorable photos of cats with author Adam Ellis's hilarious anecdotes, but also has a fun DIY element: Readers will learn how to craft colorful and creative feline headgear from the book's step-by-step instructions. With a portable trim size and a beautifully designed interior, TINY HATS ON CATS is the perfect gift for every animal lover or for any reader who wants their cat to feel just a little more fancy.

Crafting with Cat Hair

Crafting with Cat Hair
  • Author : Kaori Tsutaya
  • Publisher : Quirk Books
  • Pages : 96
  • Relase : 2013-05-21
  • ISBN : 9781594746895

Crafting with Cat Hair Book Review:

Got fur balls? Are your favorite sweaters covered with cat hair? Do you love to make quirky and one-of-a-kind crafting projects? If so, then it’s time to throw away your lint roller and curl up with your kitty! Crafting with Cat Hair shows readers how to transform stray clumps of fur into soft and adorable handicrafts. From kitty tote bags and finger puppets to fluffy cat toys, picture frames, and more, these projects are cat-friendly, eco-friendly, and require no special equipment or training. You can make most of these projects in under an hour—with a little help, of course, from your feline friends!

The Terrible and Wonderful Reasons Why I Run Long Distances

The Terrible and Wonderful Reasons Why I Run Long Distances
  • Author : The Oatmeal,Matthew Inman
  • Publisher : Andrews McMeel Publishing
  • Pages : 136
  • Relase : 2014-09-30
  • ISBN : 9781449461416

The Terrible and Wonderful Reasons Why I Run Long Distances Book Review:

This is not just a book about running. It's a book about cupcakes. It's a book about suffering. It's a book about gluttony, vanity, bliss, electrical storms, ranch dressing, and Godzilla. It's a book about all the terrible and wonderful reasons we wake up each day and propel our bodies through rain, shine, heaven, and hell. From #1 New York Times best-selling author, Matthew Inman, AKA The Oatmeal, comes this hilarious, beautiful, poignant collection of comics and stories about running, eating, and one cartoonist's reasons for jogging across mountains until his toenails fall off. Containing over 70 pages of never-before-seen material, including "A Lazy Cartoonist's Guide to Becoming a Runner" and "The Blerch's Guide to Dieting," this book also comes with Blerch race stickers.

404 Not Found

404 Not Found
  • Author : The Oatmeal,Matthew Inman
  • Publisher :
  • Pages : 76
  • Relase : 2016-10-04
  • ISBN : 1449480470

404 Not Found Book Review:

Co-creator of the wildly popular Exploding Kittens card game and #1 New York Times best-selling author of How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You, The Oatmeal, aka Matthew Inman, presents an adult coloring adventure book filled with mantis shrimp, angler fish, bear-o-dactyls, space cats, and other fantastical creatures from the wonderland of The Oatmeal. Create your own Oatmeal masterpieces in 404 Not Found. In cozy Robot City, all robots are tucked in and accounted for, but #404 is missing. Is he searching for the city of Atlantis...or was he attacked by the shrimp known as mantis? Did he leave this worldly place...and find an evil race of cats from space? A fun, kid-friendly, safe-for-work coloring book, 404 Not Found is a magical story poem adventure to color and enjoy. A robot dot-to-dot and hidden objects throughout round out the fun! Relax and let your mind float as you color your way through enchanted lands with wondrous creatures from the brilliant mind of The Oatmeal.

277 Secrets Your Cat Wants You to Know

277 Secrets Your Cat Wants You to Know
  • Author : Paulette Cooper,Paul Noble
  • Publisher : Random House Digital, Inc.
  • Pages : 238
  • Relase : 1997
  • ISBN : 9780898159523

277 Secrets Your Cat Wants You to Know Book Review:

The authors of "277 Secrets Your Dog Wants You to Know" (20,000 copies in print) bring readers a purrfectly bewitching "cat-alog" of unusual and useful information about cats.

100 Secret Thoughts Cats Have about Humans

100 Secret Thoughts Cats Have about Humans
  • Author : Celia Haddon
  • Publisher : Adams Media Corporation
  • Pages : 88
  • Relase : 2005-10-01
  • ISBN : 159337416X

100 Secret Thoughts Cats Have about Humans Book Review:

Cats are rarely as perplexed by human behavior as humans are by theirs. In this revealing little volume, cat lovers learn to read the feline mind--and get more than they bargained for.

Cats Are Weird

Cats Are Weird
  • Author : Jeffrey Brown
  • Publisher : Chronicle Books
  • Pages : 108
  • Relase : 2013-02-01
  • ISBN : 9780811879972

Cats Are Weird Book Review:

Cartoonist Jeffrey Brown's drawings perfectly capture the humor and quirkiness of cats in all their strange and charming glory. Following the success of Cat Getting Out of a Bag, this collection of color and black-and-white comic strips loosely follows the adventures of a pair of cats as they explore the world around them, indoors and out. Adventures include taking a nap, licking a shoe, attacking dust particles, hiding in cabinets, pouncing on fallen leaves, confronting the vacuum cleaner, patrolling the yard, and purring up a stormall adorably rendered in Brown's immediate and irresistible style. Sure to delight anyone who lives with cats and appreciates their sweet and batty behavior, this beautifully packaged gift book is the cat's meow.

Texts from Dog

Texts from Dog
  • Author : October Jones
  • Publisher : HMH
  • Pages : 112
  • Relase : 2012-11-06
  • ISBN : 9780544080065

Texts from Dog Book Review:

He’s a dog with a phone . . . My dog sends me texts. Yeah. It’s weird. When October Jones figured out he could send text messages to himself on his mobile phone, he naturally decided that the best use of this discovery was to send passive-aggressive messages to himself under the guise of his bulldog. And so the exasperating, slightly delusional, and utterly endearing Dog and his alter-ego, BatDog, were born. Texts from Dog features Dog’s attempts to keep the neighborhood safe from the likes of Mr. Postman and his arch-nemesis Cat-Cat—he has managed to only smash three TVs and a patio door in the process. And in between crime fighting sprees and run-ins with the squirrel mafia, there are romantic interludes with pillows, fetch sessions gone terribly awry, and the abusive banter only a bromance between man and his text-savvy dog can spawn. For those of us who have ever had a conversation with a pet in our heads, Texts from Dog will make you laugh out loud and perhaps even make you think twice about leaving your pet home alone for the day.

Cats in Sweaters

Cats in Sweaters
  • Author : Editors of Rock Point,Jonah Stern
  • Publisher : Rock Point Gift & Stationery
  • Pages : 64
  • Relase : 2016-06-28
  • ISBN : 9781631062322

Cats in Sweaters Book Review:

The only thing better than a cat? A cat in a sweater. Cats in Sweaters is a charming collection photographs featuring felines modeling their favorite cozies. Each that of these kitty's unique and quirky "purrsonalities" shine through while flaunting their sweaters, which can be seen in each of their biographies. Like Belle, a white tabby who loves cat grass, lounging in the sun, and pushing her siblings off of her cat tower. These irresistible pictures will leave you smiling and will have you dressing up your own cat in no time!

How to Pet a Cat

How to Pet a Cat
  • Author : Angela Staehling
  • Publisher :
  • Pages : 80
  • Relase : 2022
  • ISBN : 1797211129

How to Pet a Cat Book Review:

Cats have quite a few opinions, but with easy-to-follow instructions and helpful diagrams, this book will teach you how - and how not - to illicit approving purrs, mews, and chirps. From "The Booty Lift Pet" to the "I Need That Catnip on My Desk Yesterday Pet," learn over 20 tips and tricks to be the person your cat wants you to be. With bonus insights into cat sounds, body language, and more - as well as charming, full-color illustrations - this fun, lighthearted book will delight cat lovers of all kinds!

How Not to Kill Your Baby

How Not to Kill Your Baby
  • Author : Jacob Sager Weinstein
  • Publisher : Andrews McMeel Publishing
  • Pages : 144
  • Relase : 2012-03-20
  • ISBN : 9781449410391

How Not to Kill Your Baby Book Review:

"This laugh-out-loud hilarious book is mandatory reading for parents, and should be taught in schools as the "cautionary tale" portion of Sex Ed. Run don't walk to buy it, and if you're a baby with lethal parents, crawl don't roll." --Rob Kutner (writer, The Daily Show, Conan, The Future According To Me) "Unlike babies themselves, copies of Jacob Sager Weinstein's book can be bought and sold on the open market. Buy two and bring joy and laughter to the lives of a copy-less couple." --Jose Arroyo (writer, Conan) "The "s-a-g-e" in Jacob's middle moniker indicates exactly that. He is a whimsically wise and hysterically funny fellow whom any child (or book buying adult) would be wise to listen to." --Dennis Miller "If you don't buy this book and then your baby dies, how are you going to feel? Pretty bad, I imagine." --Larry Doyle (writer, I Love You Beth Cooper; Go, Mutants!; The Simpsons) Have you ever read a parenting book that left you feeling inadequate and/or terrified? In other words, have you ever read any parenting book whatsoever? If so, you need How Not To Kill Your Baby, a hilarious parody of every fear-mongering, crazy-making pregnancy and parenting manual you've ever cringed over. Just consider the following advice: * "As you know if you have ever seen someone give birth in a movie or television show, all newborns emerge with adorable round faces, pudgy limbs, and twinkling eyes. If, by contrast, the nurse hands you a tiny, squawling creature with the face of an old man and skin covered in goo, hand it back immediately. There has clearly been some sort of mixup with a nearby ward for senile midgets." * "It's essential that you keep careful track of your baby's every bodily function. That way, when she is president of the United States and a paranoid-minded conspiracy movement springs up denying her eligibility for the position, you will have documentary proof that she did, in fact, poop on U.S. soil at 8:23AM on February 23." * "When choosing a nursery school, make sure to visit first, and ask the teachers about their educational philosophies. Then ask about their criminal records. If they insist they have none, you may need to keep asking, perhaps while shining a bright light in their face. Also, take their fingerprints, then follow them home from a discreet distance and go through their trash. Oh, and don't forget to thank them for their dedication to helping the young!" * "It is easy to adjust your parenting techniques as your children grow: simply do and say the exact same things, but raise your voice by one decibel for every year of your child's age." How Not To Kill Your Baby is printed on child-safe, 100% piranha-free paper, and bound without the use of exploding staples. You'll get no such promise from What To Expect When You're Expecting. How Not To Kill Your Baby is the book for you... unless you're some kind of baby-hating creep who wants to parent all wrong.