Adult Children

If you grew up with an emotionally immature, unavailable, or selfish parent, you may have lingering feelings of anger, loneliness, betrayal, or abandonment. You may recall your childhood as a time when your emotional needs were not met, when your feelings were dismissed, or when you took on adult levels of responsibility in an effort to compensate for your parent’s behavior. These wounds can be healed, and you can move forward in your life. In this breakthrough book, clinical psychologist Lindsay Gibson exposes the destructive nature of parents who are emotionally immature or unavailable. You will see how these parents create a sense of neglect, and discover ways to heal from the pain and confusion caused by your childhood. By freeing yourself from your parents’ emotional immaturity, you can recover your true nature, control how you react to them, and avoid disappointment. Finally, you’ll learn how to create positive, new relationships so you can build a better life. Discover the four types of difficult parents: The emotional parent instills feelings of instability and anxiety The driven parent stays busy trying to perfect everything and everyone The passive parent avoids dealing with anything upsetting The rejecting parent is withdrawn, dismissive, and derogatory

This is the official ACA Fellowship Text that is Adult Children of Alcoholics World Service Organization (ACA WSO) Conference Approved Literature. Adult Children of Alcoholics/Dysfunctional Families (ACA) is an independent 12 Step and 12 Tradition anonymous program.

Are you struggling to connect with your child now that they've left the nest? Are you feeling the tension and heartache as your relationship dynamic begins to change? In Doing Life with Your Adult Children, bestselling author and parenting expert Jim Burns provides practical advice and hopeful encouragement for navigating this tough yet rewarding transition. If you've raised a child, you know that parenting doesn't stop when they turn eighteen. In many ways, your relationship gets even more complicated--your heart and your head are as involved as ever, but you can feel things shifting, whether your child lives under your roof or rarely stays in contact. Doing Life with Your Adult Children helps you navigate this rich and challenging season of parenting. Speaking from his own personal and professional experience, Burns offers practical answers to the most common questions he's received over the years, including: My child's choices are breaking my heart--where did I go wrong? Is it OK to give advice to my grown child? What's the difference between enabling and helping? What boundaries should I have if my child moves back home? What do I do when my child doesn't seem to be maturing into adulthood? How do I relate to my grown child's significant other? What does it mean to have healthy financial boundaries? How can I support my grown children when I don't support their values? Including positive principles on bringing kids back to faith, ideas on how to leave a legacy as a grandparent, and encouragement for every changing season, Doing Life with Your Adult Children is a unique book on your changing role in a calling that never ends.

In the 1980's, Janet Woititz broke new ground in our understanding of what it is to be an Adult Child of an Alcoholic. In this updated edition of her bestseller she re-examines the movement and its inclusion of Adult Children from various dysfunctional family backgrounds who share the same characteristics. After decades of working with ACoAs she shares the recovery hints that she has found to work. Read Adult Children of Alcoholics to see where the journey began and for ideas on where to go from here.

It is estimated that as many as 34 million people grew up in alcoholic homes. But what about the rest of us? What about families that had no alcoholism, but did have perfectionism, workaholism, compulsive overeating, intimacy problems, depression, problems in expressing feelings, plus all the other personality traits that can produce a family system much like an alcoholic one? Countless millions of us struggle with these kinds of dysfunctions every day, and until very recently we struggled alone. Pulling together both theory and clinical practice, John and Linda Friel provide a readable explanation of what happened to us and how we can rectify it.

An examination of adults who have been manipulated by divorcing parents. Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) occurs when divorcing parents use children as pawns, trying to turn the child against the other parent. This book examines the impact of PAS on adults and offers strategies and hope for dealing with the long-term effects.

Treating Adult Children of Alcoholics showcases the first collection of treatment chapters devoted entirely to a systematic behavioral analysis of drinking and nondrinking offspring of alcoholic families. The author identifies the functional and behavioral characteristics that make up the adult children of alcoholics (ACOA) syndrome. This compendium combines current innovations in behavioral medicine with multi-componential interventions shown effective with the variety of disorders evident in this patient population. This handbook for practitioners is richly laced with case examples and addresses the needs of therapists seeking fast, effective and proven treatments for longstanding clinical symptoms of children of alcoholics. First book to use behavioral analysis to talk about Adult Children of Alcoholics Gives introductory principles of conditioning in opening chapters for novice readers First book to say ACOA patterns are predictable, measurable, and treatable in a short time Gives scientifically based criteria to "rate your date" and prevent repeated relationship failures Introduces a new assessment device to diagnose ACOAs Warns therapists of recovery sabotage and how to overcome it

I feel like people leave me abandoned all the time. Sometimes I'm so afraid for what seems like no reason. I just don't seem to have any energy. Why do the same thoughts keep racing through my mind? I usually don't feel happy or sad. If there isn't real excitement, I feel bored. I want to be close to people, but I just never make it. Do you see yourself in this list? Children of alcoholic parents have suffered wounds that affect their lives for years to come. They learn to protect themselves from the pattern of hurt that they have come to expect in life. The results of such constant vigilance against pain can range from ulcers, sleeplessness, addictions, depression and anger to a string of broken relationships. But adult children of alcoholics can go through a healing journey that will help them recover from their painful past and be set free to live as God intended. Daryl Quick takes readers step by step through new ways of feeling, thinking and acting that will replace the ineffective patterns they have been locked into for years. With moving stories and helpful exercises, Quick shows how adult children of alcoholics can find hope and healing. A book for those who want to recover from their past.

This is the companion workbook to the official ACA Fellowship Text that is Adult Children of Alcoholics World Service Organization (ACA WSO) Conference Approved Literature. Adult Children of Alcoholics/Dysfunctional Families (ACA) is an independent 12 Step and 12 Tradition anonymous program. The ACA Fellowship Text was written by anonymous ACA members providing guidance on working the 12 Step ACA program leading to recovery from the effects of growing up in an alcoholic or otherwise dysfunctional family.

Stormie Omartian's bestselling The Power of a Praying® series (more than 28 million copies sold) is rereleased with fresh new covers and new material to reach a still-growing market of readers eager to discover the power of prayer for their lives. In this important follow-up to The Power of a Praying® Parent (2 million copies sold), Stormie addresses areas of concern you may have for your grown children and shares how to lift them up to God. With stories from other parents and insight gleaned from personal experience, Stormie helps you pray with the power of God's Word over your adult children and their career choices and sense of purpose marriages and other vital relationships parenting skills and leadership struggles, addictions, or emotional trials faith commitment and prayer life Perhaps you are watching your grown children step out into the world and wishing you could do more to support them while giving them the freedom they crave. You can. It doesn't matter how young or old they are, you can rest in the power of God working through your prayers.

In this irreverent guide, a bestselling comedy writer and noted psychotherapist teach parents how to handle their grown kids. There are many books out there to teach you how to handle your children after they graduate from diapers, but none tells you how to proceed once they graduate from high school. As new patterns emerge in the lives of young adults, parents find that their grown children have bigger problems than they did just a few years ago. How to Raise Your Adult Children is a manual for anxious moms and dads. Whether confronting the question of setting a curfew for a college kid at home, or paying for a forty-year-old daughter's wedding, two "been there, done that" moms give advice with an edge on a variety of emotionally and financially perilous situations, including: • Your kid needs money-your money • Your kid moves back home and stays home • You know your child should not marry their significant other • Your big children keep dumping their little children on you Combining the wit of Emmy Award-winning writer Gail Parent and the insight of psychotherapist Susan Ende, this book answers questions most parents never imagined they would have to ask.

For all therapists who work with adult children of alcoholics (ACOAs), this comprehensive guide provides expert guidance in setting up and running a psychotherapy group. Successfully integrating theory and practice, the book surveys the current ACOA literature, explains the rationale for group therapy, describes how to set up a group, and suggests specific group leader techniques. Also included are insightful discussions on countertransference issues, the preparation and training of ACOA group leaders, and key areas for future research.

Mothers of Adult Children elucidates what happens when children come of age and leave home, creating new lives in the realms of work and relationships. This book reveals the problems mothers of adult children face and celebrates the outstanding accomplishments of those who mother through hardship.

Divorce has become a form of family change in contemporary western societies, spawning much research to investigate its causes and consequences. Such research has promoted a sociological understanding of divorce, impact on families and individuals as well as implications for public policy. However, research in this domain has been largely restricted to white populations in western contexts as well as adhering to quantitative research methodologies. There is little understanding of the dynamics of minority ethnic families, sometimes resulting in false assumptions and over-generalizations about family structures, stability and transitions in these communities. The impact of this gap in knowledge leads to perspective blocks in terms of how minority ethnic families are conceived in the public sphere as well as in academia. Similar to other minority ethnic groups, there is little literature on divorce in South-Asian families. Though traditionally divorce rates within South-Asian communities were low, there is now an upward trend. This is the first book to analyze the experiences of British-Indian adult children of divorce and contextualize their experiences within the larger multi-cultural polity of the UK. It also discusses the value and implications of understanding the divorce phenomenon and how it is experienced within this community to present insights into what multi-cultural social work and knowledge can mean. This can also enhance support provision for all children and enable better coping of family transitions by acknowledging their specific contexts and needs.

Finally…Hope for Parents in Pain What parent doesn’t want their children to grow up to be happy, responsible adults? Yet despite parents’ best efforts, most heartfelt prayers, and most loving environments, some kids never successfully make the transition to independently functioning adulthood. Following her own journey, Allison Bottke developed a tough-love approach to parenting adult children that helps both you and your child by focusing on setting you free from the repeated pain of your adult child’s broken promises, lies, and deception. Setting Boundaries® with Your Adult Children offers practical hope and healing through S.A.N.I.T.Y.—a six–step program to help parents regain control in their homes and their lives. S = STOP Enabling, STOP Blaming Yourself, and STOP the Flow of Money A = Assemble a Support Group N = Nip Excuses in the Bud I = Implement Rules/Boundaries T = Trust Your Instincts Y = Yield Everything to God As you love your child with arms and heart wide open, know that no matter what happens you are never alone. God is in control and will be with you.

What to Do When Parenting Gets Painfully Complicated Are your adult child’s mental, emotional, and physical health issues driving you to despair? Are you tempted to bail your son or daughter out of yet another impossible circumstance? When your child has reached (or long since passed) the point of independence, it’s difficult to know what your “help” as a parent should look like. From the author of bestseller Setting Boundaries® with Your Adult Children, Allison Bottke now offers an in-depth guide to help you connect with your troubled adult child, and to build your confidence, knowledge, and hope in challenging situations such as… drug addiction mental and emotional disabilities military trauma and PTSD personality disorders financial trouble depression and bipolar divorce incarceration …and so much more Whether you’re facing these problems for the first time or looking to learn more, take a step back and develop effective strategies to truly help your adult child—without sacrificing your sanity.

Romantic love is often an elusive, fragile, and tenuous state, difficult to maintain across time. The rates of divorce, re-divorce, relationship violence, and abuse today attest to the face we are failing at romantic love. And for teen-aged and adult children of divorce, romantic love can be especially elusive. Because they have no roadmap for a satisfying, stable romatic relationship derived from their own parents, they are confused by what love is and tend to make poor partner choices. Borrowing heavily from popular culture for unrealistic standards regarding love, they become disillusioned when their all-too-ordinary lovers don't measure up. Especially vulnerable to the problems their parents had, they tend to overreact in a similar negative fashion and are all too ready to consider divorce when unhappiness strikes. In attempting to halt intergenerational transmission of divorce, Psychologist Piorkowski points to how we can recognize that American popular culture presents an overly-sexualized, explosive, and superficial version of love that can't last. With this book, adult children of divorce can begin to see how they have been affected by familial experiences, and develop a new, realistic map to find more fulfilling and enduring romantic relastionships. Piorkowski, in an extensive review of literature, also looks at cultural factors and how they impact romantic love and marriage. In contrast to American popular culture's shallow rendition of romantic love, many cultures elsewhere in the world emphasize compatibility, religion, and family allegiance. As a result, says the author, such marriages appear more stable than American unions built upon the shifting sands of emotion.

A guide for parents whose adult children have cut off contact that reveals the hidden logic of estrangement, explores its cultural causes, and offers practical advice for parents trying to reestablish contact with their adult children. “Finally, here’s a hopeful, comprehensive, and compassionate guide to navigating one of the most painful experiences for parents and their adult children alike.”—Lori Gottlieb, psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone Labeled a silent epidemic by a growing number of therapists and researchers, estrangement is one of the most disorienting and painful experiences of a parent's life. Popular opinion typically tells a one-sided story of parents who got what they deserved or overly entitled adult children who wrongly blame their parents. However, the reasons for estrangement are far more complex and varied. As a result of rising rates of individualism, an increasing cultural emphasis on happiness, growing economic insecurity, and a historically recent perception that parents are obstacles to personal growth, many parents find themselves forever shut out of the lives of their adult children and grandchildren. As a trusted psychologist whose own daughter cut off contact for several years and eventually reconciled, Dr. Joshua Coleman is uniquely qualified to guide parents in navigating these fraught interactions. He helps to alleviate the ongoing feelings of shame, hurt, guilt, and sorrow that commonly attend these dynamics. By placing estrangement into a cultural context, Dr. Coleman helps parents better understand the mindset of their adult children and teaches them how to implement the strategies for reconciliation and healing that he has seen work in his forty years of practice. Rules of Estrangement gives parents the language and the emotional tools to engage in meaningful conversation with their child, the framework to cultivate a healthy relationship moving forward, and the ability to move on if reconciliation is no longer possible. While estrangement is a complex and tender topic, Dr. Coleman's insightful approach is based on empathy and understanding for both the parent and the adult child.

Daily Meditation book written by and for the Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA/ACoA) Fellowship. Contributions reflect experience, strength and hope as part of the contributors' recovery journeys.